M&Ms by the Toilet and Other Mysteries

I’m not sure how it happened exactly, but my house is really messy right now. In fact, instead of blogging about it, I should just clean it already. Blogging is more fun, and since I always choose the fun choice, well…

I was cleaning my bathroom and let me tell you, it’s always an adventure. While I scrubbed the bathtub and sink, I mentally prepared for the Granddaddy of Gross: the toilet. Ah, it’s not so bad, I think as I drop in the nuclear powered cleaner, which I’m fairly sure NASA uses as fuel for the Space Shuttle. I’m supposed to wait until the purple turns to green (then it’s CLEAN–or so the label promises). Then I see it: one lone yellow M&M. How did this happen? What twist of fate, what immoral choices did this M&M make to end up here as its last chocolaty memory? I can only imagine.

When that yellow M&M was first born, emerging from the brown Snack Size wrapper, I’m sure it thought that the world was its oyster. Perhaps its mother had promised unlimited potential…a shot at fame and glory. A movie role, or a spot at the President’s table? Who knows where a motivated yellow candy with good credentials can accomplish. Perhaps Yellow had small ambitions, like being placed upon a birthday cupcake for a cherub-like baby’s birthday, or maybe Yellow hoped to do something a bit grander with his short life–feeding tweens for Halloween.

It was not to be.

I’m sorry, Yellow. Though I’ll never truly know how you met your end, I hope that my disposal of your remains–being flushed out to the wide ocean–was a funeral worthy of your hopeful and short life. Rest in peace, dear friend.

For some reason, all this cleaning has made me hungry. I reallllly want chocolate.