You never really stop needing Mom. I don’t care how old you are, how successful you are, how rich you are–this truth still remains. As a child, our mom’s influence is so significant on so many levels. We want to look like Mom, talk like Mom, be Mom. Then, as the teenage years come–all bets are off. I remember consciously trying to be as different from my mom as I could. She listened to hickish country music (Tammy Wynette, George Jones, Hank Williams) and easy listening; I listened to Ozzy, Journey, and AC/DC. My mom smoked, so I didn’t. My mom talked with a twang, so I made sure I didn’t. What I didn’t realize was that by trying to be my mom’s polar opposite, I was actually giving her way more power over me than I realized.

I’m 42 years old, and I still care what my mom thinks…and guess what? Hank Williams, Jr., the Eagles and Elton John are my favorites. Last night, when I was driving alone, I became irrationally irritated by the “new country” and switched my Sirius XM to “Outlaw Country” and listened to some good old Johnny Cash. It made me think about my role as both a mom and a daughter.

Don’t tell my mom.

5  Things Adult Daughters Need From Their Moms.

1. Give advice only when asked. This is a hard one. I have two adult daughters and I struggle so hard with this one. Why don’t they just listen to my sage advice? Why don’t they just assume that every word that comes from my mouth is wisdom from the ages? I’ll never understand.

2. Encouragement when needed. There’s nothing like knowing your mom is your biggest fan. Wars have been fought just to impress mom, so don’t underestimate your powers here, Mama.

3. Don’t (intentionally or unintentionally) abuse your power. It’s well-known that the words our moms speak over us resound in our hearts forever. Few things are tattooed on our hearts as criticism from mom. As a mom, you have the powers of life and death in your tongue…ten times more devastating than the world’s most formidable dictator. Be careful with your words, Mama. Be so careful. You never know how your careless words may beget prophecy. 

4. Show interest in their lives. Go to their concerts, invite them to lunch. Buy them their favorite lotion at Bath and Bodyworks for no reason. Brag on them in public. Yes, they do notice when you do. And when you don’t.

5. Don’t compare us to our sisters. We are individuals, each one of us with our own gifts and faults. Address us separately, remember us separately, nurture us separately, and you know what? You will never have a bigger fan.

Gotta go now–I need to call my mom.