Why It’s Okay to NOT Wish Everyone “Happy Mother’s Day”


America LOVES Mother’s Day.

Florists and restaurants and card suppliers make tons of cash as kids rush to “prove” their devotion to their moms. Woe to the child who doesn’t! Let the grudges begin.

Can I propose to you an option? Let’s not say “Happy Mother’s Day” on Facebook, or Twitter, or any other social media. Why? I’ll tell you.

Not everyone loves Mother’s Day.

What if you are a woman who always wanted to have kids but can’t? Seeing the cards and roses and special recognition in a church service is undeniable painful.

What if you are a woman whose child/children have died? You are no less a mother, but the holiday itself serves little as a painful reminder of loss.

What if you are a woman who has recently suffered a traumatic miscarriage? What if your miscarriage was years ago? Does that make it less painful, less like broken glass cutting the heart? Not so. In the land of mothers and not-mothers…where do we stand? I’ll tell you: we are mothers. Period.

What if your own mother was abusive or neglectful or dismissive or worse–indifferent? It’s been said that indifference is worse than abuse. I can believe that.

What if you never wanted children? Is that ok to say in this day and age? I think so. It should be if it’s not. We are a free country. But choosing the option to not have kids in a culture where 19 Kids and Counting is a popular show–the quiver-full mentality–is sometimes viewed as weird.

It’s not weird, people.

Sometimes, women choose not to have babies because they had such a difficult childhood they don’t feel they want to. Other times, women who love kids just have different goals. Sometimes, women make a conscious choice to not have children for no earth-shattering reason. It’s just because they don’t want to. That’s okay too.

Better that women make a choice to not have children rather than carelessly give birth to uncared for children.

Sometimes, in our country, we boast that we are pro-life, but we stop caring once that life is here. It’s not my kid. I have my own problems. You can’t feed yours? Too bad for you.

None of this resounds in the heart of the Savior, the One who loved children and mothers and non-mothers equally.

So before you say “Happy Mother’s Day”, think about it. I’m just putting that out there. Let’s be diligent about Mother’s Day. Yes, celebrate if you wish. Let your little darlings make you hand casts and burnt toast. This is one of the perks. But let’s be ever kind and careful to our sisters who may be hurting.

Instead, let’s celebrate womanhood itself. That’s a worthy cause!

We are all women, after all.