I’ll admit it. When I first heard Lifetime was remaking the whole VC Andrews “Flowers in the Attic” series, I was pretty skeptical. I’ve read all of (the REAL) V.C. Andrews books an unhealthy number of times so I’ve always been a secret fan. I worried when Lifetime took on this project because fans like me get pretty ticked if they change too much stuff, and their previous translations of book to movie is much like me attempting Chinese in Shanghai–at best, humorously off the mark, and at worst offensive. But, even though they did a really good job with “Flowers in the Attic,” I’ve never been too excited about sequels.

Take for example their rendition of pretty much any Jodi Picoult’s books. I’ll watch it because 1) It’s (kind of ) Jodi Picoult and 2) It’s similar to watching your neighbors fight in the back yard. You know you should look away but it’s just too entertaining.

That being said (and I hate it when people use this phrase), last night’s rendition of “Petals in the Wind” KNOCKED MY SOCKS OFF. And I wasn’t even wearing socks. I’ll go to the doctor later.

The remake of V.C. Andrews’ “Flowers in the Attic” was pretty good, especially compared to the overacted original that just tried too hard. I’ll tell you what sucked me into “Petals on the Wind.”

1) A compelling trailer. OH MY LANTA. If you haven’t watched it yet, use the link above to get a peek. It’s all kinds of crazy and messed up, plus you see Corrine SETTING HER MOM’S BED ON FIRE WITH A CANDELABRA.  I mean, what angst-riddled teen hasn’t fantasized about that? Just kidding, Mom. I’m over 40 and I don’t even have a candelabra.

2)The music. Phil Collins’ “In the Air Tonight” was the PERFECT song for this twisted revenge classic. Cathy’s coming for you, Corrine. And she won’t even notice because Corrine’s coming for HER mom, who is also a hateful hag. Corrine’s a hag, she just looks good while doing it. (Side note: on IMBD’s site, they actually have Corrine’s mom (just called the Grandmother) pictured with the words  “Holy Hag” underneath it. So wrong…yet so funny.

3) The ripped guys. Every single guy in this movie is stinking ripped. Not that I care, being a happily married woman to my own ripped guy, but come on. There’s a scene where a guy delivers a package to the house. Ripped. The grocer at the local market: double ripped. Ok that scene didn’t happen, but if it did…ripped. I think it’s against the law that anyone with more than 2% body fat must be run out of town, or set on fire by a candelabra.

4) While they were replaying “Flowers in the Attic” to refresh the audience, in the top right screen there was a countdown ticker letting us know exactly how long we had to wait for “Petals on the Wind.” Genius! I mean, the ticker added a sense of urgency and excitement (OMG! Only  49 minutes until “Petals on the Wind!”). It really got my adrenaline pumping, and I was just sitting on the recliner with glass of tea. Imagine if I’d been actually DOING something! My heart would have given out.

Well done, Lifetime! Can’t wait for the next installment!